I’ve been asked this question so many times over the past couple weeks, and my answer remains the same. Yes. Yes, I do.

Whether you’ve seen local news or widespread social media articles, you’ve probably been made aware of our church’s abrupt leadership transition. For many in our church family, our elder and executive teams, and our former pastor and family, this month has been excruciatingly painful. There’s a lot of questions and uncertainty. This little missive won’t address accusations, circulate gossip, or formulate speculations—it’s to share my heart and to share what God taught me. {You’re welcome to go to Northview Church’s website and read the exact same letter and elder updates}

I was outside, on one of the two heat advised days we had this month, sipping water beneath the driveway viburnum tree. Lily and I had been pickleball-ing, and I nearly simultaneously received a text from my husband and an email from my church. The email-letter stated our Senior Pastor had been fired effective immediately due to repeated patterns of toxic leadership and misconduct. Not long after reading the email from our elders, our local newspaper posted an article with much of the same content. And the texts began trickling in—“Hey, isn’t this your church?”

Yes. Yes it is.

And I stand by my church. Because, it’s like Chris Tomlin wrote, “above all thrones and dominions, all powers and positions, Your name stands above them all.” It’s God’s house.

With all the accusations and vitriol and rumors swirling, Holy Spirit whispered again and again, “A win for one of us is a win for all of us, and a loss for one of us is a loss for all of us.” Every believer is a member of one body, the Church, the Bride of Christ. When one of us hurts, we all hurt. Regardless of why my pastor’s job was terminated, I love my pastor and his family and have forgiven whether or not there’s ever an apology. That’s how grace works, folks. It’s unmerited or undeserved favor. We serve a God of restoration and redemption! Sitting out on the back deck swing with Rudy, I likened this ache in our church family to having a broken leg. When the leg, part of the body, is broken, it’s weak and tender. The one with a broken leg doesn’t continue to abuse the broken, painful part, but, rather, nurtures the broken back to health. Instead of speculate, let’s choose to supplicate. I invite you to join me, along with our church, to intercede and pray for healing—for leadership, for the Johnson family, for the global Church, for wisdom, and for forgiveness. Supplicate.

Supplication: the act of earnestly asking God for help in a humble way

Last week, after dropping off Lily for camp, I tucked into this serene corner of Northview’s Carmel campus, opened my Bible, and began my prayer time. A bit later, I walked the perimeter of the property while praying fervently for the aforementioned requests, adding on prayer for the children at camp and their counselors. I poured out my words, my requests, my tears, and my heart. Later that evening, I was sharing with Rudy, and he asked, “in your prayer-walk, what did God say to you?”

Mic drop.

Sheepishly, I answered, “you know, I think I did most of the talking.” Ouch.

The next morning, I dropped off Lily at camp and began the same routine. Bible and devotional study by the fountain. Tea from Capstone (shameless plug—the peach green tea is fabulous…as is the iced strawberry shortcake latte). Prayer-walk.

Only this time, I had an intentionally different approach. This time, I listened. What God taught me was so relevant and simply profound (how’s that for an oxymoron?). Along Main Street, near the Northview Church sign, God reminded me of what Pastor Mark Crull said the weekend prior—God is Sovereign; He either ordained this or allowed this. Either way, He already knew, and He already had a plan in place.

If you’re unfamiliar with the area, Northview Carmel Campus is located in Hamilton County. More specifically, Northview’s campus is built on the highest point, elevation-wise, of Hamilton County, Indiana. This is relevant because that means that during a prayer-walk, half the trek is uphill—either way you choose. For me, my uphill portion began near the softball fields. Once I was just about to the Barn and Student Center area, God really started teaching. He showed me how, for our church, we’re in an uphill climb right now. But every hill has a summit, and we’ll get there with time and consistency. The real growth takes place in the climbing though. New growth comes from the endurance of the struggle and the breaking. Do you realize how muscles are built? Without getting into all the chemical reactions and amino acids, etc., fundamentally, muscles are built due to dealing with resistance. This resistance stretches and strains the muscle until it literally tears the muscle fibers. Then, the body beautifully fuses the fibers back together, which builds the damaged muscle in both size and strength. The fancy word for this is hypertrophy.

What if we allowed this brokenness to create hypertrophy in our church? What if we worked together (fusing and repairing) through the grief, pain, and confusion rather than speculate and divide? The damage has been done, we’re still on the uphill excursion, so let’s fuse together in supplication and love and invite Holy Spirit to flood us—this is how we grow in faith and strength. I love my church. Dearly. This is the house where this wayward daughter found her way back home (that story is for a soon-coming blog).

How about you—want to muscle-build with me?