Reaching toward the back of the pantry, it all came flooding back. The memory crashed over me like a hurricane-stirred ocean wave. Angry. Overwhelming. Again, I was swept away, spiraling into the depths.

The haunting strains of Taps echoed in the sweltering southern air from where we’d just lain my Paw-Paw to rest. As a family, we meandered along headstones and red dirt paths to the funeral dinner. And it was there, standing in line for a plate of nourishment, my memory stabbed my heart again. Solemnly standing there in line, a gentleman gestured toward me, asking, “who is she?” A distant family member stated my name, then went on to describe me and my appearance with shameful adjectives. I wasn’t Lalia- granddaughter or Lalia-beloved. She identified me based on how I looked—and not in a kind or poised way. No, she cut me down and humiliated me to the core at my grandpa’s funeral.

And months later, for whatever reason, as I went to nourish my own little family, her words crept into my mind and my heart. Is that how I’m known? Is that really who I am?

Oh, I sunk way down deep there in the depths for a while. Her hurtful words played over and over in my thoughts, then other voices from the past added their messages into this shame-filled chorus. And I almost believed it, believed I was just the sum of my failures, my weight, my clothing choices, my whatever, until I didn’t. If the Creator-God of the universe sent heaven’s crown, His only son, Jesus, to die so I can live forever, then I’m not buying it that my identity, my substance, is just that shallow. And neither should you.

So Jesus, in His creative grace, pulled me from the swirling deep and reminded me who I really am. Instead of those shameful messages on repeat, I started compiling a mental list of “I am …” affirmations.

I am Child of God. I am Beloved. I am Mother. I am Homemaker. I am Wife. I am Beekeeper. I am Loved. I am Chosen. I am Artist. I am Writer. I am Giver. I am Friend, Sister, Daughter, Granddaughter, Aunt, Cousin. I am Strong. I am Enough. I am Set Free. I am Treasured. I am Alive. I am Homesteader. I am Salt and Light. I am Nurse. I am Gardener. I am Imago Dei. I am….

And let me invite you to flip the script on the negative, shame-filled messages you carry, because overcoming shame with grace is extra sweet. What would you include on your list? Who are you?

Words are vital. They can make or break, uplift or cut down, they can speak life or speak death. The words spoken to us, the messages we carry, become internalized. I imagine a memory is tracing along the edges of your mind just now. If you’re like me, the scene is even memorialized so all the senses in that past moment are recalled. How does that make you feel? Can you redeem the message?

Proverbs 16:24 reads, “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body” (ESV).

Kind words are like honey—sweet, yes, but also healing. Honey is amazing! Raw honey has antiviral, antibacterial, and anti inflammatory properties. Spreading honey over a wound speeds healing and prevents infection. Honey is soothing. But the really incredible thing about honey is that honey can prevent the death of healthy cells! When you speak kind, gracious words, you’re speaking life—you’re preventing the decay of the positive affirmations of who you are in Christ. You’re soothing and healing the shallow, negative, shame-filled words you’ve been carrying (or spewing).

For me, the best way to combat the loud voices, the negative words are to know THE WORD.

John 1:1-5, 14, 16 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace” (ESV).

Because of Jesus, the Word, I can fully know God. Know the Word, know Life. How can I know Jesus? Get into His Word, scripture, daily. Talk to Him. Listen. Engage in holy community. Practice gratitude. Come alongside us here at Hearth & Hive this month (February) as we read through Romans. The invitation is yours. ❤️ I also invite and encourage you to journal some of your I am… affirmations. It’s a life-changer!

Oh, oh oh! Over on the market (Etsy), there’s some apparel that serves as a reminder to speak life and to spread kindness like honey. 🍯 HearthandHiveMarket